Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
