He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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