Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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