weddingsv make me drug and hornr
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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