im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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