Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
