Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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