'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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