he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
