Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
