is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
