I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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