We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
