I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My vagina just clenched in fear
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize