she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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