She said her name was "party"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
These tits shall not be calmed
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
