playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
