party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
