its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize