You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think my moral compass just broke
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