yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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