yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
