I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Randomize
