Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
