Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
