dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
