Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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