"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
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