your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
