More tranny stories later!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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