Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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