Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
