Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
