But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
