imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
