O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize