Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
