You did not just play the dead husband card again.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
