A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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