This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
