that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
