Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just pee around me
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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