Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
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