Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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