Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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