Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
