It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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