and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
