she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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