even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
