Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
bring money and cleavage
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
