Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
