All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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