Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize