Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
