i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
