I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
