yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
