I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
and i looked up. we had an audience...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
