you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
pop tarts are not kleenex
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
