Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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