I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize