He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
