I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
