All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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