I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
