Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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